The Crew Getting Younger

The Massive Exodus was a sad time. I assumed, like many others, that it was done to make the team younger. After all, it was the veterans who were booted. I know Bobby Varzeeha and Mark Mick have denied these allegations, but it seems pretty  obvious.

But now I’m not so sure of the getting younger argument. The signing of Mendoza, Miranda, Cunningham, and now Dejan Rusmir have made me double-take a bit. What is going on here? These are all pretty old dudes. They won’t be around for more than a few seasons, which is going to force the team to rebuild again in the not-too-distant-future.

I’m no coach and I know you want a veteran or two to school the noobs, but if you are going to rebuild, then do it right, I say. Get ’em while they’re green and mold them to your will.

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Crew Beat TFC Again

Today the Crew have once again beaten Toronto FC. The canukcs just couldn’t pull out a win even when winning was 25% over the Crew in their favor. It is a joyous day.

Well, it wasn’t a game, but a weighted lottery and that’s good enough for me. The new member of the Crew is one Korey Veeder, member of the U-20 USMNT and former player for Crystal Palace Baltimore. This is good news for the Crew. Their depth in the back line is a bit weak and this guy has a friggin youtube video of some of his plays, so you know he’s gotta be good, right?

This leaves the Crew with 26 of 30 potential roster spaces filled (assuming all of the draftees are signed).

I’m a bit worried about the roster, mainly with the midfield, and the fact that Andres Mendoza may become a DP. Yes, Andres Mendoza…

Does anyone think that Mendoza brings much to the table? I only saw him kick in a few gimmys last season and that was it. I think Bliss can find a little better talent in the footballer buffet that is South America, but I guess that’s asking too much.

The point is we beat TFC again. Rockin’.

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MASSIVE Exodus

My oh my, what an eventful couple of months it has been for my Columbus Crew. Half the team has been dispersed amongst teams that I don’t care about. They are now, of course, my sworn enemy. It’s quite a sad tale.

It all started with the ego of Bobby Varzeeha. You see, when Bobby took over the team, he was placed in quite a pickle. He had a championship team and even though they didn’t play his style of soccer, he couldn’t break it up. So like a big boy, he kept the team together…for a while. After a few years of only scoring from corner kicks and divine intervention, he just plain got fed up with the legacy of Papa Bear.

“Out with them all!” he bellowed with a harsh Polish twang. And so they left.

The Pirate, the Dude, the Lion, the Kiwi, the Cajun, the Invisible, the Local, the Scot, and the God. All of them now only a memory. A good memory at least.

So now Bobby Varzeeha now has what he has wanted since the beginning of his tenure: Josh Williams (rofl). I kid, I kid. He has his team of rascals that will do his bidding. The leaders are the Red Card, the Wall, and Jeff Cunningham of all people. That is a tad scary, but I am interested to see the new Crew that will take the field.

While I am still mourning the loss of those great souls, I feel excitement for a new era of soccer in Columbus, Ohio. And I especially can’t wait to see that young phenom, Josh Williams(rofl), that everyone has been going on about to show his quality.

I hope it all works out, because I don’t think Bobby will get as much mourning when he’s booted as did the people he booted.

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Columbus and the Expansion Draft or Protect GBS For F#*@ Sake

With the end of the season looming, the question of who to protect in the impending expansion draft comes up.

Now I’m just one individual with a worthless opinion, but to me one choice seems blatantly obvious: Protect Guillermo Barros (Es)Schelotto.

Many of my fellow Columbus supporters disagree with this. They bring up the point that he is expensive and old and that Portland or Vancouver wouldn’t want him for these reasons. They say that he might even retire so there is no point to wasting a proteced spot for him.

To that I would retort that he’s friggin’ GBS. He is Columbus soccer. He is the greatest player to roll on through our little town (yes, including McBride and Friedel) and he deserves to be protected. It doesn’t even matter if we know for a fact he is retiring. He’s friggin’ GBS. If you do not protect the face of the team, the rock that Columbus is built on, then you are probably Robert Warzycha.

To not protect him would be an insult to the man that brought Ohio its first real championship since the Reds won in 1990. And do you really think he would stick with the organization after he retired when he was left unprotected to the Canadians and Oregonians? I don’t.

Keep the Rock of Columbus protected.

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Jason Kreis Gives Me Nightmares

Jason Kreis has a stare that chills the marrow of my bones. It’s becoming hard to produce blood cells. Jason Kreis is making me anemic. I think I know why this is happening.

He was such a nice boy before he became a coach.

But since he retired from his playing career, things haven’t been the same. There is no more joy; only the urge to win.

I can only assume he has gone down this scary road in order to instill fear not only in his enemies, but also in his team. How else do you win MLS cup when your team was under .500 for the season? How else do you become one of the league’s elite with the likes of Ned Grabavoy and the rest of the bunch? With The Stare.

When your team does poorly you give them The Stare. When the other team is winning you give them The Stare and then kick in a few goals while they recoil in horror.

Roy Keane invented the technique.

Kreis has perfected it.

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A Sad Day for Crew Fans

Toronto FC fans have been outspoken about the level of support they have for their team. This is a fact which can not be denied, yet at the same time it is a little sad. They throw so much support at a team that has failed for four straight years to repay that loyalty. Frankly, I much much respect for those fans. I hope that one day every team will have such support.

But their day has finally come: Mo Johnston, their General Manager, has been shit-canned. Any TFC fan will tell you this is long overdue. He is the reason for all of their woes, by bringing in the crazed coaches John Carver, and Preki, and also bringing in such great players such as Nick Garcia and the ever productive Julian De Guzman.

But Mo only knows how to do things his own way. He can’t be blamed for that. You can’t teach a fish to walk, but you CAN kill the fish and bring in something with a couple legs. MLSE should take the blame for the suckitude of TFC. They should have fired Mo  after his first year as GM, and they definitely should have fired him after his second. Don’t expect doing the same thing over and over to yield different results. We’ll see if they can pick a GM with a brain.  Should be interesting.

As a Crew fan, I am kind of bummed by this news. Next year it might not be so easy to beat TFC over and over again. Nothing lasts forever I suppose.

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Juan Pablo Should Stay

The New York Red Bulls are a silly team. They are silly because they are named after a disgusting swill of a drink. They are silly because they are located in New Jersey but insist having New York in their name. But they are mostly silly because they have yet to extend the contract of Juan Pablo Angel.

Yes, he’s expensive. Yes, he’s 35. But he gets the job done. He does exactly what you want a DP to do for your team. He is everything David Beckham isn’t. (That’s a good thing.) The man has scored 12 goals this season and 57 goals for New York in his 4 years of playing. That’s not too shabby, so you can see why I am slightly confused as to why he hasn’t been resigned to the Red Bulls. He seems to be confused about the situation also. “This is the first time in my career I’ve been in a situation where my contract expires at the end of the year and I don’t know where I’m going; so we’ll see what happens.”

Apparently the New York FO wants to go in a different direction and doesn’t know yet if a top goal scorer is in the cards. Makes perfect sense to me. I mean you already have Henry and Marquez; why even think about Angel? He’s only going to give you goals, those things that win games.

Really New York, just resign the man. He deserves it after what he lived through in your team’s massive suck streak of 2009. It should be an obvious decision, but I guess New York is holding out for Messi in 2011. Gotta keep that 3rd DP slot open for him.

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