Jason Kreis Gives Me Nightmares

Jason Kreis has a stare that chills the marrow of my bones. It’s becoming hard to produce blood cells. Jason Kreis is making me anemic. I think I know why this is happening.

He was such a nice boy before he became a coach.

But since he retired from his playing career, things haven’t been the same. There is no more joy; only the urge to win.

I can only assume he has gone down this scary road in order to instill fear not only in his enemies, but also in his team. How else do you win MLS cup when your team was under .500 for the season? How else do you become one of the league’s elite with the likes of Ned Grabavoy and the rest of the bunch? With The Stare.

When your team does poorly you give them The Stare. When the other team is winning you give them The Stare and then kick in a few goals while they recoil in horror.

Roy Keane invented the technique.

Kreis has perfected it.

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