My oh my, what an eventful couple of months it has been for my Columbus Crew. Half the team has been dispersed amongst teams that I don’t care about. They are now, of course, my sworn enemy. It’s quite a sad tale.
It all started with the ego of Bobby Varzeeha. You see, when Bobby took over the team, he was placed in quite a pickle. He had a championship team and even though they didn’t play his style of soccer, he couldn’t break it up. So like a big boy, he kept the team together…for a while. After a few years of only scoring from corner kicks and divine intervention, he just plain got fed up with the legacy of Papa Bear.
“Out with them all!” he bellowed with a harsh Polish twang. And so they left.
The Pirate, the Dude, the Lion, the Kiwi, the Cajun, the Invisible, the Local, the Scot, and the God. All of them now only a memory. A good memory at least.
So now Bobby Varzeeha now has what he has wanted since the beginning of his tenure: Josh Williams (rofl). I kid, I kid. He has his team of rascals that will do his bidding. The leaders are the Red Card, the Wall, and Jeff Cunningham of all people. That is a tad scary, but I am interested to see the new Crew that will take the field.
While I am still mourning the loss of those great souls, I feel excitement for a new era of soccer in Columbus, Ohio. And I especially can’t wait to see that young phenom, Josh Williams(rofl), that everyone has been going on about to show his quality.
I hope it all works out, because I don’t think Bobby will get as much mourning when he’s booted as did the people he booted.