MASSIVE Exodus

My oh my, what an eventful couple of months it has been for my Columbus Crew. Half the team has been dispersed amongst teams that I don’t care about. They are now, of course, my sworn enemy. It’s quite a sad tale.

It all started with the ego of Bobby Varzeeha. You see, when Bobby took over the team, he was placed in quite a pickle. He had a championship team and even though they didn’t play his style of soccer, he couldn’t break it up. So like a big boy, he kept the team together…for a while. After a few years of only scoring from corner kicks and divine intervention, he just plain got fed up with the legacy of Papa Bear.

“Out with them all!” he bellowed with a harsh Polish twang. And so they left.

The Pirate, the Dude, the Lion, the Kiwi, the Cajun, the Invisible, the Local, the Scot, and the God. All of them now only a memory. A good memory at least.

So now Bobby Varzeeha now has what he has wanted since the beginning of his tenure: Josh Williams (rofl). I kid, I kid. He has his team of rascals that will do his bidding. The leaders are the Red Card, the Wall, and Jeff Cunningham of all people. That is a tad scary, but I am interested to see the new Crew that will take the field.

While I am still mourning the loss of those great souls, I feel excitement for a new era of soccer in Columbus, Ohio. And I especially can’t wait to see that young phenom, Josh Williams(rofl), that everyone has been going on about to show his quality.

I hope it all works out, because I don’t think Bobby will get as much mourning when he’s booted as did the people he booted.

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3 Responses to MASSIVE Exodus

  1. Pat says:

    And you thought we only scored from set pieces before? This team seems destined for the same fate if not worse (as we don’t have a true set piece specialist).

  2. Chris LaMacchia says:

    I don’t know, I think the Crew won’t struggle to score from the run of play or from set pieces. There’s this kid named Robbie, he serves free kicks up pretty well and was/is mentored by a certain GBS.

  3. Jon says:

    I think Bobby is trying to find the pieces to move away from that. The biggest evidence I see of that was when he signed Jeff. But I think we will still score from some sets and corners as we still have Chad and Iro, and a couple of those kicks are gonna meet with their head.

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